Last week I ducked out into the balmy post-Valentine air, and I decided to listen to all the songs on our upcoming album - in the same fashion that I see those around me listening: Headphones. On the subway. Half paying attention. It had been awhile since I’d listened to the album, and it certainly had been awhile since I’d commuted and listened to music. I admit it got me more excited than ever about these 10 songs that we’re hanging on to for just a little while longer. I’m sure I’m not the first to admit that by the time we finished recording, I was ready for a change and frankly sick of the songs.
Now, after a bit of time and space and change, I’m hearing the stories like almost new. And for this time and for this space, we have something to show: a chubby baby girl is five months old, and we again find ourselves navigating ways to release babies and music into the world.
And as I listened, I thought “hmm, those are some tired, pregnant vocals there”. It’s not an excuse, not even meant to be an excuse - just part of the fabric of the whole picture. On both our EP a few years back, and now on our first full length album, I was pregnant when we recorded. Sometimes secretly, sometimes heavily! And as everyone knows, pregnancy drastically affects the ability to sing and totally changes the tone of one’s voice.
I’m kidding. It does of course make singing long phrases a bit of a challenge, but besides that, I didn’t notice any drastic vocal affects. But what does stand out to me is this feeling I had during the whole process, something I am sure is totally common, and yet so very personal: “I’m hiding something precious and vulnerable inside, and I feel different than I did before, I hope everything goes okay, and I wish I could control more, but maybe it’s better I can’t…” (and on and on)
And now, excuse the crass comparison, but I’m seeing a few parallels here as we’re in the final days of prepping to release this album. I find myself thinking similar thoughts… “I hope everything goes okay, I wish could control it more…maybe I should be thankful that I can’t…I’m excited!”
And the easier, Instagram version of all this (as I realize my computer is dying and I only have 8 minutes to finish my thoughts) is:
“We are heavily pregnant with our first full-length album and we’re anxious for delivery!”